Apparently giddy after working out a decade-long agreement to keep the bum encampment at its long-time location (remember, it was only supposed to exist for 90 days - five years ago), and having devoted so much effort to creating housing in the Pearl District and South Waterfront districts  (hey, climbing under the sheets with the likes of Homer Williams is sweaty stuff!), Portland's gap-toothed weasel is now looking toward a statewide tax on real estate and fees for the documents required.  Erik Sten is confident that this approach would allow Portland to build more "affordable housing".

Wait.  What?  Hey Erik - wasn't "affordable housing" supposed to be part of the deal in the Pearl and SW districts?  What happened to that?  Was that just Homer baloney you were swallowing while cavorting under the sheets?

"Even the middle class is having a hard time finding apartments downtown," Sten said. "If we had had a real estate tax in place during our recent housing boom, we'd have plenty of funding for affordable housing for everyone who lives in the city."

Ummm - if you'd been doing your job, rather than playing footsie with Homer and his pals, we wouldn't need to grope for a solution to the problems that your short-sightedness and general weakness has engendered.

"The housing industry has failed people seeking homes in Portland," Sten said, "and we need to do something about it."

No, Mr. Weasel - the housing industry has not failed.  The housing industry is doing precisely what you and the rest of Portland City Council, together with the geniuses at Metro, have planned.  You and your pals have insisted on driving the price of buildable land to incredibly high - and artificially high - levels in the Portland metropolitan area, so please don't try to fool us by pretending to be all surprised when ordinary folks can't afford to buy homes - or in many cases, can't afford even to rent.

Erik, ya loveable little gap-toothed furball, what we have here is a failure to communicate:  we don't need real estate taxes and fees.  What we need is for you and other weasels in Portland City Hall and at Metro to take a powder.  If it weren't for you folks and your legions of politically-correct "planners", the problem you want to tax us into resolving would never have arisin in the first place.